


feel like i've been living life asleep

by miyasjacket



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Gen, Mild Language, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Beta Read, Unreliable Narrator, and wanted to blame Adam for it, i was sad, in which reki goes "oh shit", light reki/langa if you squint, mayhaps??, post episode 4, reki and langa have a falling out??, this fanfic makes no sense dear god, this is also because sk8 ao3 is a MESS lord
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:13:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29112111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miyasjacket/pseuds/miyasjacket
Summary: Post Episode 4.Reki can recall when it all started.
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	feel like i've been living life asleep

**Author's Note:**

> First work for the sk8 fandom.
> 
> Mostly for the sk8 discord server because this fandom could use something that isn't Miya smut (which, btw, gross. he's 13).
> 
> Uh, hopefully you enjoy this, I had no idea where I was going with this.

Reki can’t properly recall how it happened.

He can remember the fear coiling in his stomach, his heart plummeting as Adam pinned and dragged him across the road as if it was nothing. As if he was nothing.

He can remember how his eyes begged to be shut, just for him to stare at the taunting voids of Adam’s mask, a sadistic, cruel grin worn on the man’s face.

_“Don’t be closing your eyes.”_

It made his heart race.

_“Terror is the best spice. Take your time and savor it.”_

It made him sick.

He didn’t believe one man was capable of drawing such an emotion from him and playing it off as if it was nothing, like he was a pawn, expendable in a game.

He doesn’t remember how it all came to an end, however. The vivid feeling of his feet no longer making contact with the speeding board beneath him. The midnight air picking him up and carrying him along with it.

He doesn’t remember when his body made impact with the ground once again. He can’t recall when his ears went static.

He can recall a distant and frantic _“Reki!”_ over the buzz, however. Langa’s voice. Dammit.

 _‘I’m sorry. I lost,’_ he thought of saying. He isn’t sure if he expressed it out loud. He hopes he did.

Adam’s deriding voice hit his ears once more, and everything fell quiet once again. 

He faintly remembers Adam saying something intelligible, before feeling his body be lifted off of the ground _(what a shame, he’d grown to find the dirt beneath him comfortable to lay on)_ , and a soft, _“shit, someone get the kid to a hospital!”_

Reki’s consciousness eventually waned out as the adrenaline left his veins, and for the first time since his race against Adam started, he got to properly shut his eyes.

Reki can recall everyone’s response to him challenging Adam. They all thought he was stupid, and told him to call it off. That he wouldn’t make it out safely.

All except Langa.

The canadian boy endorsed him, motivated him even. He knew that it wasn’t because he was going to beat Adam. It was because he wanted to.

So why, why did it sting so badly to lose, he wondered?

The first thing Reki could recall properly feeling after the race was failure.

_(Huh, that’s new. He’s never seen skating as a thing to pass or fail.)_

He knows that this race was never really about him. Not to Adam, at least.

The bounty was over Langa’s head. And Reki let Adam shoot it down, to reel it in.

It makes him uneasy.

To him, as stupid as it may sound, but between the deathly speed of the skateboard, the inconvenient position, and the sickening smile on the older man’s face, he felt like he was going to die. 

To Adam, he was nothing more than one last hurdle to jump over to reach the finish line of what he wanted.

And he’s not sure how much more to feel about that.

Reki can barely recall the race between Adam and Langa, which makes him upset, because he’s not sure why.

Don’t get him wrong. He tried his best to wear a beaming grin and spare encouraging words for Langa as the race started, but he almost feels like Langa didn’t see said smile reach his eyes.

As for the rest, all he knows is that it was a tight game, with Adam coming out as barely the victor.

He wonders if Adam held back against Langa.

Reki can barely recall when it started, but he was certain it was happening.

He and Langa were drifting apart.

The almost everyday stops at the skatepark after school between the two of them slowed to a halt. 

The elusive _SNOW_ of _‘S’_ barely showed face again. Sight of him became sparse, but his name was forever on the tongue.

Reki had heard word from Miya that Adam was spending more time with Langa, _‘training or whatever.’_

One look at the young teenager’s eyes glazing over in indistinguishable emotion whenever looking at Langa from then on told Reki that he shouldn’t ask any more on that. That he doesn’t want to.

Reki can recall one evening after school, where he passed by Langa’s house.

He’s not sure what possessed him to do that.

Maybe some part of him still wanted to recognize his best friend beyond a classroom setting.

So when he saw Langa sitting on his porch, for the first time in weeks, maybe even months, Reki truly felt alive. 

Langa’s wintery blue eyes meeting his own made his heart skip his beat, and he felt his skin heat up.

He missed this rush.

“Reki?” Langa whispered, so quietly that maybe even the canandian boy himself could barely hear it. The glisten in Langa’s eyes made Reki flare up in… joy?

_(He wouldn’t remember. It’s been so long.)_

“Langa! It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other after school!” Reki burst out. “We haven’t been to a skatepark in ages, wanna go?”

And just like that, the twinkle in Langa’s eyes died out.

Reki felt his heart plummet almost instantly as the blue-haired boy murmured out a hesitant refusal. _‘He didn’t feel like skating.’_

The first sentence regarding skating from Langa in ages made him feel like the world was caving in.

Reki quietly responded saying that it was fine before quickly leaving with a warm _“See you tomorrow then!”_

Reki didn’t feel the need to mention skateboarding again to Langa.

_It was happening again._

Reki can recall stopping by Dope Sketch one weekend.

He doesn’t really know why he did.

Maybe he just wanted company?

Oka quickly observed his behavior and asked if he was fine.

Reki said he was.

Oka snorted. 

_“There’s never been a time that you said ‘you’re fine’ that you really were.”_

Reki only hummed at that.

Reki can’t really recall a time he’s truly hated someone.

He likes to think he’s an open, outgoing person.

But he hates Adam.

Just the sound of his name alone makes him flinch.

Why, why does he hate this man so much?

Reki likes to blame everything that’s happened on Adam. For taking something, _someone_ he’s loved so much and using it almost as a weapon against him. For removing the life from it.

But a part of him, an ounce of him begs to differ.

That this is all out of his ignorance.

He was practically begging for that duel months ago, wasn’t he?

Maybe if he listened to someone who was wiser, he wouldn’t be here.

He wouldn’t feel this way.

That part of him despises him for not calling off the race.

He knew there was more at stake than just himself, but he still went through with it, didn’t he?

But he didn’t know that Langa skating with Adam once would turn into the two of them skating twice, then thrice, then more times than he can even count.

He didn’t know it would turn into an opening to drain Reki of what he loves right in front of him. Draining Langa of his love for skating.

_(Huh. Maybe that race was about him a lot more than he thought.)_

  
  
  


So what if he did call it off? The challenge, the race, all of it?

What if he didn’t walk into his own slaughter with only the encouragement of Langa by his side?

What if he and Langa still were close friends, and had a mutual love for skateboarding?

What if he didn’t act on impulse just like that because someone managed to make his heart flutter once, twice, maybe three times, _or more than that….?_

If Reki had an answer, he’d tell you himself.

  
  



End file.
